This site, probably more so than some others, requires a bit of explanation. Here’s the low-down, presented in a pseudo-Q&A format with the Author himself:

Who is Plasmator and why in the hell is this site called Plasmator Universi?

A quick definition: Plasmator means ‘creator’ or ‘form-er’ in Latin, and is also one of the most badass-sounding words ever created by mankind. It is also not coincidentally the pseudonym by which the Author (yours truly) has chosen to be known. Universi is also Latin, meaning ‘universe’.

In this way, Plasmator Universi can be roughly translated as ‘creator of the universe’. This may seem like the Author has a bit of a god complex, but nothing could be further from the truth. Instead, this is a reference to the following idea:

Because all we really know to be ‘true’ is the world we build in our mind as a result of our perceptions, we are all creating our own universes all the time.

So from my perspective, I’m the Universe Creator. Plasmator Universi.

As for whomever created all the crap that contributes to the perceptions that I remix into my own little universe, I have no idea. And neither does anyone else, so don’t let them try and tell you otherwise.

Alright, that is a little eccentric but I’ll accept it for the moment. Now tell me, Mr. Plasmator, just why you chose to create this site?

Very good question. I must complement you on your ability to come up with poignant and incisive queries.

The short answer is, I’m incredibly frustrated at my superhuman ability to lose my car keys.

I’m one of those absent-minded types who has a gajillion thoughts on as many topics running through his head at all times. The way I see it, all this crap is cluttering up my mind to the point where I can’t remember where the goddamn keys are that I just set down no more than two minutes ago. So, I have to have somewhere to go with this enormous junk pile of questions and ideas.

After years of torturing my friends and family with said questions and ideas and being still incapable of remembering rudimentary things, I decided it was time to take it up a notch and subject everyone else in the world to them as well. Hopefully the larger audience will allow me to rid myself of even more of this mind-clutter and achieve a Zen state of Total Car-Key Awareness.

Think of yourselves as the garbage disposal of my mind. Or even better, come up with your own less-insulting metaphor.

Some will note that I don’t mention monetary compensation as a reason for or a desired outcome of the creation of this site. Good observation.

Let’s go with that. You mentioned a notable lack of monetization techniques associated with this site. Why is this?

First let me disparage you for the usage of the Web 2.0 buzzword “Monetization”. Why don’t you just come out and say ads, already?

With that said, there’s a simple reason that one doesn’t see any ads and their resultant revenue associated with this site: they’re not needed.

As I already stated, the purpose of this blog is to enhance my ability to locate car keys. If you read the proceeding sentence carefully and think about it for awhile, you’ll eventually come to the realization that locating car keys doesn’t really have much to do with making money.

Further, the continued hosting of this site isn’t dependent upon a revenue stream. Unless this thing gets huge and the hosting bills become absolutely outrageous, I will myself pay for the privilege of abusing my readers. Hosting right now is provided by a dedicated server at well-peered data center so it should be quite some time before this place gets too big for its boots.

There is one exception under which you would see an ad on this site. That would be when the ad in question is titled, “Lost: Car Keys.”

Do you plan on writing about anything remotely interesting?

It would appear that you have some issues with absent-mindedness yourself since you seem to have forgotten our vocabulary lesson.  Plasmator means ‘creator’, not ‘leech’.

In other words, the answer to your question is an unqualified ‘yes’.  Otherwise I would be no better than the talentless hacks that do nothing other than post links to links to links to links to stories without adding any value of their own. Not that anyone on the web would do such a thing, of course.

If this site doesn’t achieve 100% original content, it’ll be pretty damn close.  There may be material from other sources brought in since people seem to like that sort of thing occasionally, but there there will always be copious amounts of information and insight added by yours truly; none of that hit-and-run stuff.

I also promise that any discussion regarding ’steampunk’ will be disparaging and brief.

Why do you persist in your usage of French Spacing?

I presume that by “French Spacing” you are referring to my practice of inserting two spaces after periods and other punctuation. The term is a little confusing though, because as the often-fallible-but-correct-on-this-issue Wikipedia will tell you, the term has meant different things at different times.

It is true that French Spacing is not the most modern of conventions. In fact, some online content engines (ahem) actually strip it out, the fascist bastards. However, it is the way that I was taught to type. I have much more life-impacting habits to worry about correcting than that of tapping the space bar twice after every period, so that’s the way it will be.

I am not entirely satisfied with the earlier answer regarding your identity. Would you care to elaborate?

No.

That said, you seem like a great person so I’ll expound a bit, at least on the ‘no’ part.

There are plenty of folks out there who go by their real name online. There are also plenty of people who make a sport out of locating said people and harassing the living shit out of them. I’ve found myself to have a fair amount of latent talent in this area, as a matter of fact. This is how I know that I don’t want to tangle with someone like me. Especially since I want to be able to make the most of my free-speech right and don’t want to constantly worry about who I might piss off about what.

Plus, plasmator sounds way more badass than my real name does.

I’m all out of pseudo-interview questions for now. Anything else that you’d like to add?

Yes, though I will point out that you did just ask another pseudo-interview question despite saying you had none left. This infers that the possibility now exists that you can’t be trusted.

That’s all I really liked to add, other than state that Jack White is the greatest musician in modern history.