(Ed. Note: The more clever of you all will notice that meaning can be harvested from the title of this post by using the word “Thought” as either a verb or a noun. How badass is that?)

We think we’re so smart.

Guess what? We don’t know shit from shinola.

Think about it this way - if the Universe is made of shit, and everything outside of it is made of shinola, then the chances are that never having dealt with shinola (because remember, our Universe is just shit) will result in us being fully incapable of comprehending it. Therefore, any attempt to try and explain the nature of what’s outside of our Universe is pretty goddamn futile. Yet still, there are those that persist in their claims that they know what’s out there beyond our mortal knowledge.

Some will come along and say, how do we KNOW that everything outside of the universe isn’t made of shit as well? In such a case, surely we would be particularly well-situated to comprehend such a place seeing as how we’ve lived our entire lives dealing with shit?

To which I first say, “Shut up, smartass.” Then, after the shock of such a retort has worn off I proceed to explain that, to our knowledge nobody has succeeded in creating a universe made of shit inside of our universe made of shit so it’d be hard to believe that someone or something else was able to do so. How’s that for clever?

Not very, you might respond - and you’d be absolutely right given that we occupy such a small inconsequential space inside this universe that we don’t know half of half to the 9709510510935th power what else might be inside of it. Bottom line - maybe what’s outside of the universe IS made of shit, but that’s only one option. There are - to our unknowing minds - infinite other possibilities regarding the makeup of what’s outside our universe. It could be turtles, for all we know.

Further (here’s the important part), the chance of something being true is the number of times it’s true divided by the times it isn’t. Given that shit is just one possibility among infinite, and that 1 divided by infinity is a whole fucking lot, I guess I just threw that smartass’s theory right out the goddamn window didn’t I? If only that smartass was someone cool instead of me playing Devil’s Advocate to myself, I might get some street cred out of the deal.

I want to also toss something else in here. It’s pretty popular these days to make the argument that since our perception of the universe is filtered through our minds, nothing about the Universe matters except that which we perceive. Sort of a corollary to, “I think, therefore I am” that says, “I’m thought, therefore I am”. In other words, the Universe is me*. And since we already established that we don’t know anything about the Universe…

All I’ll say at this point is that it’s a pretty messed-up existence when the most significant thing I can say about myself is that I don’t know anything about myself.

And oh yeah, I’m tagging this post as ‘Meta’ because if this shit isn’t Meta I don’t know what is. In fact, it’s so Meta that another post about this one would probably cause this whole mess of a universe to implode upon itself upon itself upon itself upon itself…

*At this point some redneck in the back row is standing up saying, “Wha…you sayin’…uh…lesssee…that I’m made of…SHIT?”